MEMO TO ALL EMPLOYEES

In order to assure the highest levels
of quality work and productivity from
employees, it will be our policy to keep
all employees well-trained through our program of
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.).

We are trying to give our employees
more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you
feel that you do not receive your share
of S.H.I.T. on the course, please see your supervisor.

You will be immediately placed at the
top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our supervisors
are especially skilled at seeing you get all
the S.H.I.T you can handle.

Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T.
will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE
EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T.).

Those who fail to take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T.
seriously will have to go to
EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T.).

Since our supervisors took S.H.I.T.
before they were promoted, they don't
have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are
all full of S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be
interested in a job teaching others.
We can add your name to our
BASIC UNDERSTANDING LIST of LEADERS (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.).

For employees who are intending to
pursue a career in management and consulting,
we will refer you to the department of
MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T).
This course emphasizes how to manage M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.

If you have further questions, please
direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING,
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.S.H.I.T.).

Thank you,

BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (B.I.G.S.H.I.T.)

P.S.: Now send this S.H.I.T. to 5
people who need S.H.I.T. in their life,
just not the same person who sent you
this S.H.I.T. They have already had their
fill of S.H.I.T.!!!

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

DIRECTOR UNDER THE MAIN BUREAU OF SUPER
HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(The "D.U.M.B.S.H.I.T.")