Just For Laughs

One Saturday afternoon the grasshopper, the snail, and the centipede were sitting around the grasshopper's house drinking beer. They ran out of beer before they were ready to quit drinking, so they decided one of them should go out for more beer.

The snail said, "I'd go, but I'm kind of slow. Besides, Grasshopper, this is your neighborhood so you know where to go."

The grasshopper said, "I don't mind going, but my hopping will shake up the beer and we'll get sprayed every time we open one."
So they decided to send the centipede; and the grasshopper explained how to get to the nearest liquor store.

An hour or so passed and still the centipede hadn't returned, so the snail and the grasshopper decided to go look for him. They got as far as the the front door and found the centipede sitting there putting on his shoes.

Bob Famoso

Bob works hard at the plant and spends two nights each week bowling and plays golf every Saturday.

His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club. The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Bob! How ya doin?"

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.

"Oh no," says Bob. "He's on my bowling team."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"

"I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club. I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey."

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Bob, starts to rub herself all over him and says, "Hi Bobby. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"

Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

Bob follows and spots her getting into a cab.

Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. Bob tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.

She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book.

The cabby turns around and says,"Geez Bob, you picked up a real witch this time."

Husay

Every day's a new day, pero today, today lain naman.

Something out of the ordinary happened.

For the first time since October 2005, I comb my hair.



Ngaa for that long wala ko nagapanghusay?
I don't have to. Gwapo man ko ya b mo.hahaha
No, At first it was because I don't have the time to do that k pagmata lego layas na dasun tapos ubra na. kisa gani la na lego,hehe then sa ulihi daw na naanad naman lang na wala ga husay ah.

Why now?
Mangkot ko b gina baba(bata ni janice) hambal nya "Mapungos ka gin-ot no? Ngaa wala ka gahusay haw"? hehehe
Kag plus nagconditioner pa gid ko gina.

Amo lang na.
bubye.

SAD STORY

A SAD STORY:
a little boy was so jealous of his new born brother so he put poison on the nipple of his mother the next day... their driver died. ;(


one sad story too:
one day the mother gave birth to a special child. after one day the child spoke his first word: "mama." the next day, the mom died. the father realized that the baby was cursed. on the second day the baby spoke "papa". the father feared that he too will die. but he didnt. their neighbor died.

Logically Funny

There were two nuns..

One of them was known as Sister
Mathematical (SM),

and the other one was known as Sister
Logical (SL).

It is getting dark and they are still
far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has
been following us for
The past thirty-eight and a half
minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach
us in 15 minutes
at the most! What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of
course is to walk faster.

SM: It's not working.

SL: Of course it's not working. The man
did the only
logical thing. He started to walk
faster, too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate
he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is
split. You go that way and
I'll go this way. He cannot follow us
both.

So the man decided to follow Sister
Logical.



Sister Mathematical arrives at the
convent and is
worried about what has happened to
Sister Logical.

Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are
here!
Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened.
The man couldn't follow us both, so he
followed me

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I
started to run
as fast as I could and he started to
run as fast as he cou ld.

SM: And?

SL: The only logical thing happened. He
reached me.

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL: The only logical thing to do.
I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do
He pulled down his pants.



SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn't it logical, Sister?
A nun with her dress up can run faster
than man
with his pants down.

And for those of you who thought it
would be dirty,

Say two Hail Marys!