etcetera

Win a Free Boracay Vacation Package

2010-05-17T18:04:00.000-07:00

Win a Free Boracay Vacation Package by WOW Philippines Travel Agency

WOW Philippines Travel Agency, Inc. is celebrating it's 5th year in business during July of 2010, and we would like you to have a chance to celebrate with us, so we have decided to give-away a FREE Boracay Package complete with 5 Star accommodations at the luxurious Le Soleil de Boracay Hotel on Boracay Island. The lucky winner will win the following Boracay vacation package.

Vacation Package Inclusions:
- 5 Days / 4 Nights Luxury 5 Star Accommodations at the Le Soleil de Boracay Hotel
- Flights to Boracay from Manila to Caticlan Airport on Philippine Airlines
- Island Transfers - Door-to-Door from Manila to the resort and back to Manila
- Three (3) Meals each day, Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner
- Boracay Activities - Horseback Riding, Island Hopping, Glass Bottom Boat
- PLUS - 5,000 peso Spending Cash

Read More Information: http://www.boracay-packages.com

ext

2009-08-19T03:04:00.001-07:00

etcetera: Question: Pila ka liko halin sa Rob Pakadto sa SM?

Question: Pila ka liko halin sa Rob Pakadto sa SM?

2009-07-21T20:07:00.000-07:00

Pila ka liko halin sa Rob Pakadto sa SM?

Wrong Answers:
Dpende kung dn maagi.

Kung bata sakyan, 5.

Daw gina into mo ko haw?

Answer:
Duwa lang, Left & Right

Heart Attack

2009-07-21T07:39:00.000-07:00

May isa ka tigulang nga nag daog sa lotto. Una nakabalo iya kabataan pero kumo may heart problem ila iloy nahadlok sila magpabalo so nag desider sila mangita bulig.

Nagpalapit sila sa abogado para sya pasugiron sa ila iloy nga nagdaog sya pero nag pamalibad ini kay basi sya pa kuno basulon.

Ti nagpalapit sila sa pari kag nagsugot ini.

Nag kadto ang pari sa ila balay kag nag istorya sa ila iloy;

PARI:
Chay kung nag daog ka bi sa lotto 100K anhon mo ni?

CHAY:
Simple man lang ya gusto ko nga pangabuhi kag blessing man ina ti tungaon ko sa apat, tag 25K kami 3 sang duwa ko ka bata dasun ang bilin sa simbahan.

PARI:
Baw mayo kay wala ka gid gakalipat sa simbahan; Pano bi chay kung 1 Million imo daog?

CHAY:
Baw kadako na sina tungaon ko man dyapun sa apat, tag 250K kami 3 sang duwa ko ka bata dasun ang bilin sa simbahan.

Gin kaptan sang pari ang kamot ni chay, "Kaloy-an ka gid chay" Dala check sang pulso ni chay kung ok pa, tungod ok lang man si chay nag disider si father nga last nalang nga pamangkot hambalon nya na si chay nga nagdaog sya 200 million.

PARI:
T chay kung nag daog ka b 100 million?

CHAY:
Baw father dako na gid na kaayo nga blessing, pero mahawid lang ko 1million para sa akon kag sa duwa ko ka bata tapos tanan ihatag ko na sa simbahan.

GIN HEART ATTACH ANG PARI!

Funny Pics Feb 29, 2008

2008-02-29T03:42:00.000-08:00

Lilibat

2007-11-29T22:47:00.000-08:00

Naga lilibat na ko, nano na ni.hahaha

When the DIRECTOR forgets!

2007-11-28T02:46:00.000-08:00

Just For Laughs

2007-10-31T09:56:00.000-07:00

One Saturday afternoon the grasshopper, the snail, and the centipede were sitting around the grasshopper's house drinking beer. They ran out of beer before they were ready to quit drinking, so they decided one of them should go out for more beer.

The snail said, "I'd go, but I'm kind of slow. Besides, Grasshopper, this is your neighborhood so you know where to go."

The grasshopper said, "I don't mind going, but my hopping will shake up the beer and we'll get sprayed every time we open one."
So they decided to send the centipede; and the grasshopper explained how to get to the nearest liquor store.

An hour or so passed and still the centipede hadn't returned, so the snail and the grasshopper decided to go look for him. They got as far as the the front door and found the centipede sitting there putting on his shoes.

New Nokia 6.750. - Built for EXTREME conditions ...

2007-10-25T23:07:00.000-07:00

Kape? Kape? Kape sir?

2007-10-24T22:12:00.000-07:00

Pulis: bigyan mo nga kami ng kape bilis magbabayad kami.

May-ari: kape sir? magbabayad kayo?

Pulis: Oo nga! Bilis bigyan mo kami ng kape.

May-ari: Redford dalawang kape nga para kila kapitan! Huwag mo duraan at magbabayad daw!

Hehehehe

Bob Famoso

2007-10-23T03:45:00.000-07:00

Bob works hard at the plant and spends two nights each week bowling and plays golf every Saturday.

His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club. The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Bob! How ya doin?"

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.

"Oh no," says Bob. "He's on my bowling team."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"

"I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club. I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey."

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Bob, starts to rub herself all over him and says, "Hi Bobby. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"

Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

Bob follows and spots her getting into a cab.

Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. Bob tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.

She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book.

The cabby turns around and says,"Geez Bob, you picked up a real witch this time."

Are you kidding?

2007-10-15T03:09:00.001-07:00

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

The Engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years - say, a red Corvette?"

The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"

And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."

YOU ARE OLD WHEN.......

2007-10-14T23:55:00.000-07:00

"OLD" IS WHEN ... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one; I can't do both!"

"OLD" IS WHEN ... Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

"OLD" IS WHEN ... A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.

"OLD" IS WHEN ... Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

"OLD" IS WHEN ... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

"OLD" IS WHEN ... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

"OLD" IS WHEN ... "Getting a little action" means you don't need to take any fiber today

"OLD" IS WHEN ... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.

"OLD" IS WHEN ... An "all nighter" means not getting up to use the bathroom.

"OLD" IS WHEN ... You are not sure these are jokes .

Snappy Comeback Lines from Pilosopong Tasyo

2007-10-08T04:39:00.000-07:00

"Did you take a bath?"
"Why, Is there one missing?"

"Are you chewing gum?"
"No, I'm John Smith."

"I want to buy a dress to put on around the house."
"Yes, Madam. How large is your house?"

"What are you going to be when you graduate?"
"An old man"

"I spent three years in college taking medicine."
"Are you well now?"

"Do you say a prayer before you eat?"
"No, we don't have to. My mother is a good cook."

"I've got a surprise for you, honey. I brought a friend home for dinner."
"Who wants to eat friends?"

"We are having mother for dinner, darling."
"Make sure she's well done."

"I want some rat poison."
"Should I wrap it up or do you want to eat it right here?"

"It seems that everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other."
"Well, I guess that's why I've got two ears."

"May I hold your hand?"
"No, thanks, It isn't heavy."

"Does water always come through the roof in this place?"
"No, sir, only when it rains."

"When will you straighten out the house, dear?"
"Why? Is it tilted?"

"Do these stairs take you to the second floor?"
"No, you'll have to walk"

"Now that you're married, you should have some insurance"
"But why? My wife isn't dangerous."

"I have changed! my mind."
"Thank heaven! Does it work better now?"

"Would you like your coffee black?"
"What other colors do you have?"

American Kids vs Filipino Kids

2007-10-02T01:50:00.000-07:00

American Kids: Move out when they're 18 with the full support of their parents
Filipino Kids: Move out when they're 28, may have saved for that nice house and are a week away from getting married .... unless there's room in the basement for the newlyweds.

American Kids: When their Mom visits them she brings a nice bundt
cake and you sip coffee and chat.
Filipino Kids: When their Mom visits them she brings 3 days worth of food,
and immediately begins to tidy up, dust & do the laundry.

American Kids: Their dads always call before they come over to visit
them and its usually only on special occasions.
Filipino Kids: Are not at all fazed when their dads come over, unannounced on a Saturday morning at 8:00 and starts pruning the peach & lemon trees. And if there are none, he will plant some!

American Parents: You can leave your kids with them and you always worry if everything is going to be ok plus you have to feed them after you pick them up.
Filipino Parents: No problem, leave your kids there and if they get out
of line your parents can set them straight .... plus they get bathed,
fed and get told stories of when you were young.

American Kids: Always pay retail and look in the yellow pages when they need something done.
Filipino Kids: Just call their dad or uncle and ask for another dad's or uncle's phone number to get it done .... cash deal.

American Kids: Will come over to visit their parents and get only cake and coffee, no more.
Filipino Kids: Will come over to visit their parents for lunch and get B-B-Q, Pancit, Lumpia, Adobo and Rice and stay for late dinner as well.

American Kids: Think that being Filipino is a great thing,
Filipino Kids: Know that being Filipino is a great thing,

American Kids: Never ask the reason you have no food.
Filipino Kids: Are the reason you have no food.

American Kids: Will say 'hello" but are hesitant to hug.
Filipino Kids: Will give you a big hug and a kiss, and great big hand shake and pat you on the back.

American Kids: Hardly invite over to eat or they have to share their portion.
Filipino Kids: You always have your friends over to have something to eat regardless

American Kids: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs.
Filipino Kids: Call your parents Uncle & Auntie.

American Kids: Have never seen you cry.
Filipino Kids: Cry with you.

American Kids: Will eat at your dinner table and leave.
Filipino Kids: Will spend hours there, talking, laughing and just being together.

American Kids: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
Filipino Kids: Keep your stuff so long they forget it's yours.

American Kids: Know a few things about you.
Filipino Kids: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.

American Kids: Will leave their parents behind.
Filipino Kids: Will hang out with their parents.

American Kids: Would knock on your door.
Filipino Kids: Walk right in and say, "I'm home!"

American Kids: Are for a while.
Filipino Kids: Are for life.

American Kids: Will ignore this.
Filipino Kids: Will forward this.

mapalad ka

2007-09-17T04:33:00.000-07:00

Manghuhula: Magiging mapalad ka sa larangan ng sex. Duduy: Wow!!! ibig nyong sabihin, marami akong makakasex??? Manghuhula: Hindi. Palad mo lang lagi ang makakasex mo!!!

SENIOR CITIZEN

2007-09-14T04:15:00.000-07:00

Another Amazing Ad!

2007-09-13T02:06:00.000-07:00

I've been searching for a stick figure for my personal site logo and found this amazing ads.

http://67.18.33.2/stickpage/xiaobeer.swf

BRAND NEW AEGs

2007-09-06T03:01:00.000-07:00

A&K M4CQB ver 2=Php 6,500

420fps average out of the box.Metal Upper Reciever,DEVGRU, CA copy RIS, Butt tube, Mag.Includes 8.4V 2000mah Nicd Subc Firefox Crane Config Battery w/ charger, 2pcs Rail Cover, Vertical Grip.Dboys/A&K/ICS/TM/CA compatible 300rds magazine.Cranestock (Will fit Subc batteries).Lighter RIS with visible markings

A&K M933 Commando New Version=Php 5,500

390fps average out of the box. Metal Upper Reciever,Butt tube, Mag. Includes 8.4V 1100mah Nimh Firefox Battery w/ charger. Dboys/A&K/ICS/TM/CA compatible 300rds magazine

M4SSystem=Php 6,000

410fps average out of the box, Metal 1pc outer barrel w/ removable flash hider, Flip sights, Rails, Butt tube, Mag.Includes 8.4V 1100mah NiMh Battery w/ charger.Dboys/A&K/ICS/TM/CA compatible 300rds magazine.LE Stock

M4A1=Php 4,700

370fps average out of the box.Metal 1pc outer barrel w/ removable flash hider, Triangle, Butt tube, Mag.Includes 8.4V 1100mah NiMh Battery w/ charger.Dboys/A&K/ICS/TM/CA compatible 300rds magazine.LE Stock

M733=Php 4,500

370fps average out of the box.Metal 1pc outer barrel w/ removable flash hider, Triangle, Butt tube, Mag.Includes 8.4V 1100mah NiMh Battery w/ charger.Dboys/A&K/ICS/TM/CA compatible 300rds magazine.Fixed carry handle

G36=Php 4,800

350fps average out of the box.Metal removable flash hider, Rails, Front and rear sights.Includes 8.4V 1100mah NiMh Battery w/ charger.TM/CA compatible 450rds magazine, Foldable Stock

AK-47 Tactical Folding=Php 5,500
360 fps average out of the box.Metal removable flash hider.Front and rear sights, upper receiver.Includes 8.4V 1100mah Stick type NiMh Battery w/charger, folding vertical grip (G&P copy).CYMA/TM/CA compatible 600 rds Waffle magazine.Folding Stock

Galaxy MP5PDW=Php 4,000

330 fps average out of the box.Metal front and rear sights, magazine.Includes 8.4V 1100 mah NiMh Stick-type battery with charger, sling and loader.CYMA/WELL/JG/TM/CA compatible 200 rds magazine.Retractable butt

Galaxy MP5K=Php 3,500

320 fps average out of the box.Metal front and rear sights, magazine.Includes 8.4V 1100 mah NiMh Stick-type battery with charger, sling and loader.CYMA/WELL/JG/TM/CA compatible 200 rds magazine

Thompson=Php 5,000

360 fps average out of the box.All metal.Includes 8.4V 1500mah Nicd SubC Battery w/charger,3 pt sling.Low cap mag.High cap magazine.

Steyr Aug=Php 4,800

350fps average out of the box.Metal outer barrel w/ removable flash hider, carry handle.Includes 8.4V 1100mah Battery NiMh w/ charger.BE/TM/CA compatible 350rds magazine.Full Auto only

Beta Spetz=Php 4,000

330fps average out of the box.Metal removable flash hider. Front and rear sights, Upper receiver, Mag.Includes 8.4V 1500mah Subc NiCd Battery w/ charger, Sling.CYMA/TM/CA compatible 250rds magazine

AK47 Tactical=Php 4,800
360 fps average out of the box.Metal removable flash hider.Front and rear sights, upper receiver.Includes 8.4V 1500 mah Subc NiCd Battery with charger, Folding vertical grip (G&P copy).CYMA/TM/CA compatible 600 rds.Waffle magazine

JG M16 VN=Php 4,500

NOTE:
Price may change(lower/higher) due to shipping and handling and availability of supplier.

ALSO AVAILABLE:

Thanks for looking.

Ads! Ads!

2007-08-30T01:05:00.000-07:00

Another interesting stuff from my Inbox.

Nike

STOP SMOKING!

Fed Ex Shirt

Karate School Ad

Kinkos - white out

Lego Crane

Mr Clean on a New York Street

Benjamin Moore Paint Sample

Bic Razors

Outdoor Bridge for Adidas Soccer

Dropped Calls - Cingular

Bubble Gum

WHY MEN DECIDED TO WEAR CLOTHES

2007-08-27T08:11:00.000-07:00

Receive this e-mail yesterday. LOL

Early experiences that convinced the male to wear clothes.

PINOY style vocabulary

2007-07-19T23:47:00.000-07:00

Expand your pinoy style vocabulary:

CONTEMPLATE - kulang ang plato

PUNCTUATION - pera para pang enrollment

ICE BUKO - ayos na buhok ko?

CALCULATOR - tawagan kita mamaya

DEVASTATION - estasyon ng bus

DEDICATE - patay ang pusa

ASPECT - pantusok ng yelo

DEDUCT - ang pato

DETAIL - ang buntot

CITY - bago mag-otso

STATUE - ikaw ba yan??

TISSUE - IKAW NGA!!!!

Mapagmahal na Magulang

2007-07-07T10:58:00.000-07:00

Dear Anak,

Naipadala ko na 50 thousand pesos na tuition fee mo, naipagbili na namin ang mga kalabaw natin.

Ang mahal pala ng kursong COUNTER STRIKE, wala na din pala tayong baboy naibenta na din para dun sa sinasabi mo na project nyo na NOKIA N75, ang mahal naman ng project nayun. kasama din ang 7 thousand dun para sa field trip nyo sa MALL OF ASIA, anak malayo ba yun mag ingat ka sa pagbibiyahe mo, isasanla pala namin ang palayan natin para mabili mo na yung instrumentong I-POD na kinakailangan mo sa laboratory nyo.

Anak komportavle kaba jan sa boarding house mo sa ba kamu yan sa VICTORIA COURT - maganda ba dyan di ba mainit dyan. Anak kamusta na pala yung group project nyo na SANMIG LIGHT napailaw nyo na ba? mataas ba nakuha nyo na grado dun.

Anak sana bago pa maubos ang lahat lahat ng arian natin ay maka gradweyt kana, walong taon ba talaga ang kurso mo sa SECRETARIAL, sana pag gradweyt mo makakuha ka ng trabaho kaagad kagaya ng manager ng kumpanya para mabawi natin ang mga ari arian nating sa sanglaan. ay cya nga pala anak diba sabi mo sa JOLLIBEE / MAK DONALD ka palagi kumakain ok ba naman sayo ang mga ulam dyan baka hindi masarap kawawa ka naman.

Eh yung school bus nyo na TAXI sabihin mo sa driver mag ingat cya sa pag dri-drive.

Anak hanggang dito na lang at sa susunod ay ipapadala ko sayo ang pera na pambili mo ng ALTIS na gagamitin mo sa VACANT SUBJECT mo.

Ang nagmamahal
Itang at Inang

Can You Read This?

2007-06-28T08:09:00.000-07:00

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid, too.
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe tuo fo 100 anc.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

MEMO TO ALL EMPLOYEES

2007-06-15T03:19:00.001-07:00

In order to assure the highest levels
of quality work and productivity from
employees, it will be our policy to keep
all employees well-trained through our program of
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.).

We are trying to give our employees
more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you
feel that you do not receive your share
of S.H.I.T. on the course, please see your supervisor.

You will be immediately placed at the
top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our supervisors
are especially skilled at seeing you get all
the S.H.I.T you can handle.

Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T.
will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE
EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T.).

Those who fail to take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T.
seriously will have to go to
EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T.).

Since our supervisors took S.H.I.T.
before they were promoted, they don't
have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are
all full of S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be
interested in a job teaching others.
We can add your name to our
BASIC UNDERSTANDING LIST of LEADERS (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.).

For employees who are intending to
pursue a career in management and consulting,
we will refer you to the department of
MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T).
This course emphasizes how to manage M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.

If you have further questions, please
direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING,
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.S.H.I.T.).

Thank you,

BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (B.I.G.S.H.I.T.)

P.S.: Now send this S.H.I.T. to 5
people who need S.H.I.T. in their life,
just not the same person who sent you
this S.H.I.T. They have already had their
fill of S.H.I.T.!!!

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

DIRECTOR UNDER THE MAIN BUREAU OF SUPER
HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(The "D.U.M.B.S.H.I.T.")

Husay

2007-04-10T00:54:00.000-07:00

Every day's a new day, pero today, today lain naman.

Something out of the ordinary happened.

For the first time since October 2005, I comb my hair.

Ngaa for that long wala ko nagapanghusay?
I don't have to. Gwapo man ko ya b mo.hahaha
No, At first it was because I don't have the time to do that k pagmata lego layas na dasun tapos ubra na. kisa gani la na lego,hehe then sa ulihi daw na naanad naman lang na wala ga husay ah.

Why now?
Mangkot ko b gina baba(bata ni janice) hambal nya "Mapungos ka gin-ot no? Ngaa wala ka gahusay haw"? hehehe
Kag plus nagconditioner pa gid ko gina.

Amo lang na.
bubye.

SAD STORY

2007-01-29T01:02:00.000-08:00

A SAD STORY:
a little boy was so jealous of his new born brother so he put poison on the nipple of his mother the next day... their driver died. ;(

one sad story too:
one day the mother gave birth to a special child. after one day the child spoke his first word: "mama." the next day, the mom died. the father realized that the baby was cursed. on the second day the baby spoke "papa". the father feared that he too will die. but he didnt. their neighbor died.

Logically Funny

2007-01-18T03:19:00.000-08:00

There were two nuns..

One of them was known as Sister
Mathematical (SM),

and the other one was known as Sister
Logical (SL).

It is getting dark and they are still
far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has
been following us for
The past thirty-eight and a half
minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach
us in 15 minutes
at the most! What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of
course is to walk faster.

SM: It's not working.

SL: Of course it's not working. The man
did the only
logical thing. He started to walk
faster, too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate
he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is
split. You go that way and
I'll go this way. He cannot follow us
both.

So the man decided to follow Sister
Logical.

Sister Mathematical arrives at the
convent and is
worried about what has happened to
Sister Logical.

Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are
here!
Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened.
The man couldn't follow us both, so he
followed me

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I
started to run
as fast as I could and he started to
run as fast as he cou ld.

SM: And?

SL: The only logical thing happened. He
reached me.

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL: The only logical thing to do.
I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do
He pulled down his pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn't it logical, Sister?
A nun with her dress up can run faster
than man
with his pants down.

And for those of you who thought it
would be dirty,

Say two Hail Marys!